Friday, March 02, 2007

Not Feeling It

I'll let you in on a little secret -

sometimes I don't want to write.

Yup. Just don't wanna do it.

Most times, I'm almost itching to get in front of the computer, but the last few days... I just ain't feeling it.

Maybe it's the lousy weather. Maybe it's the stir-craziness from said lousy winter. Maybe it's just a huge case of why am I wasting my time? No one wants to read this stuff anyway. Whatever the reason, I feel drained.

But whatever the reason, it makes me want to avoid my office like the plague. I'll do anything to keep out of there - cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping. Usually, when I do any one of those tasks, I'm quickly reminded of why I do love writing. I guess everyone gets a case of the blahs... maybe it's an occupational hazard when you spend half of your life in an alternate world. Maybe everybody does the same thing.

Mostly, I think it's sitting back and looking at this pile of manuscript pages on my desk. True, the first draft is done, but there is so much to do with rewriting that it's almost like writing another first draft. For me, it only gets easier when there's light at the end of it all - around the seventh draft. By then, I know it's only minor tweaks as opposed to rewriting entire chapters.

The idea of branching out with this book is a bit intimidating. I'm exploring themes I haven't used in the past, so it's uncharted territory for me. My characters are a bit darker than any I've written in the past, and though it's still an historical romance, I think the end product might be a bit grittier than my usual work. It is exhausting at time, especially when the characters take over and put up a fight when I reel them in. Hopefully, when it's all over, it will make for a great book.

So, I suppose I'll suck it up and get back to work. Otherwise this book will never be anything more than a stack of crudely plotted manuscript pages. And that never sits well with me. I like to finish what I start, so I guess I'll tackle the earl and his lady. Maybe it's time to lose myself in another world for a while.

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