Sunday, July 13, 2008


This is, without a doubt, the absolutely worst part about the entire writing process. I can deal with outlining (on those rare occasions when I actually use an outline), I can deal with research, I can deal with writing and rewriting. I can even deal with rejection - which I hate, of course, bu I can deal with it. The one thing I can gladly do without?


I've never taken a poll, but I'd be surprised if this isn't at least in the top five worst things about writing list. I've never been good at waiting, but this is torture.

I sent off After the Storm to my editor last night. Since then, I've been obsessively checking me email, even though I know she's not going to get back to me for a bit yet. It's crazy. Absolutely crazy. It's like a different person takes me over - one who can't go five minutes without hitting the "Receive all mail" thingie on the email program.

On one hand, I'm just so glad this stupid book is off my desk, but on the other? Eeek... all kinds of awful stuff keeps going through my head - what if there are typos? (I ran a spell check about a dozen times, but still...), what if she thinks this is stupid? What if the scenes I rewrote, then replaced with the originals, were actually better with the rewrites? What if--


(That'd be my head exploding)

It would be so much easier to sit back and say, "Yep. She'll love it. Guaranteed a contract without a doubt."

Oh, to have that much confidence.

Truth is. I don't. I automatically go into worst-case scenario. It's so much easier to deal with unexpected joy than unexpected agony anyway. Last summer, when I received the email with the offer of a contract for Eden's Pass, I happy-danced all around my office because it was unexpected (I thought it was a great story, of course, but I tend to go glass-half-empty on my own work). I'm really hoping I can do the same for After the Storm.

**SIGH** Okay, I gotta go check my email. =)


Mary B said...

So what you're saying is that the doubts don't go away? I feel that queasy doubt everytime I send a story off. You've had two books published and it still gets you?


Kim said...

It still gets me... Hopefully someday I'll be egotistical enough that it doesn't ;) but for now... yikes... I sat with my cursor on SEND for about 10 minutes, trying to convince myself to send the email...