Monday, December 05, 2011

Do You See What I See?

Everyone in my family wears glasses. But I'm the only one who's far-sighted. That means, I can read a street sign from 5 miles away, but I can't really see things that are right under my nose. Well, I can but not very well.

That said, I'm notoriously terrible about seeing my optometrist, though. You'd think I'd be more on top of that (especially since I've gone to the same guy since I was 12.) You'd think it, but you'd be wrong.

I was good about it as a child (of course, that was probably because I had no say in it) but as an adult? Not so much. True, I do have a reason, but unfortunately, it's not a good reason. I generally avoid going because I don't like having my eyes dilated. It's tiring. It gives me a headache. Not to mention, I spend the rest of the day looking like something out of a Pokemon cartoon. Japanimation really doesn't suit me.

So, the only time I go is when I absolutely have to. I will confess, I did cheat on my optometrist once and went to one of those 1-hour places in the mall. I could sweet-talk them out of having my peepers dilated (score one for me!) and got a much-needed new pair of glasses.

Life was good.

Until last Wednesday.

Normally, I keep my glasses on my nightstand or on my desk. But not last Wednesday. I'd been sitting at the kitchen table, reading my Kindle (have I mentioned how much I love my Kindle? No? Well, I do) while my son played on the computer. At dinner time, I moved everything off the kitchen table and for some reason, instead of putting my glasses on the counter (or better, upstairs) where they'd be safe, I put them on the desk. Right where the corkboard hangs. On that corkboard is our calendar. And yes, that is an important detail.

My son likes to change the calendar (you do see where this is going, right?) So when he asked to flip the page, I said sure. Never stopped to think that my glasses were there (because they NEVER are.)

Next thing I know, he's apologizing like a madman. And my glasses are now sans one lens.

You know that scene in A Christmas Story, where Ralphie takes his Red Ryder bb gun out and shoots his eye out? How he thinks, Maybe I can fake it? and wear his glasses with only one lens?

Stupid as it sounds, that's what I thought. Although really, who was I faking out? They are my glasses and I'm the one who has to replace them. Like I'm gonna fool myself?

I tried to put the lens back, but the frames are the ones where the lens are held in by fishing line (or whatever it is) and no matter how you line up the line with the groove in the lens, a mere mortal can not put that lens back in place. Can't be done.

And of course, I don't have a spare pair.

And did I mention this happened after my optometrist's office had closed for the day?

That's what I get for cheating on my eye doctor.


It's a bitch.

So I called my eye doctor and made an appointment. And then I casually mentioned my lens-less frames and did they think they could fix them?

Sure. Just pop in. We can probably fix them for you.

I ran down there Thursday morning, the tech fixed my specs and lo and behold! I could see! And yes, I kept my appointment on Friday. Spent all afternoon Friday looking like a Precious Moments figurine. And my shiny new glasses (because who doesn't like getting new glasses???) should be ready tomorrow.

And I learned my lesson. I will not cheat on my eye doctor again. :D

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