Monday, March 05, 2012

A Few Things That Annoy Me

I'm finally starting to feel a little better (thank dog), and I'm at that stage now where I'm not sick enough to stay in bed and veg out to Rachael Ray, but not feeling quite well enough to hit the gym today. And that means that I am a little on the cranky side. Well, what better way to assuage the crankies than to rant about some stuff?

Actually, the topic popped into my head while I was perusing my Facebook wall. The more I think about it, the more I think I need to get away from Facebook--at least until the election is over. That one uber-political friend, the crazy ultra-right winger who probably has a stockpile of food and weapons in her basement, is just driving me beyond insane. I know it isn't directed at me, but at the same time, it kind of is because in her view, if you don't agree with her, you could not BE MORE WRONG and are worthy of only contempt.

So, in honor of the Facebook Friend Who Pisses You Off, I give you (in no particular order) a list of things that annoy me.

1. People who don't clean off the machines at the gym - You know these gross people. They've just spent forty minutes on the treadmill, you see the sweat dripping off them and yet, when they finish using the bench press, they don't clean it off. Seriously, WTF is wrong with these people? My gym is literally littered with spray bottles and rags -- all there for the express purpose of cleaning your grossness off the machines so no one else has to sit in your funk. Ew.

2. People who use the self-checkout lanes for their entire 2-weeks-worth-of-groceries shop - Now, I don't mean the people who use the scanner so that all they have to do is beep the End of Order bar and tally up (this is truly the only way to shop.) I mean the twit who has the entire cart filled to the point of overflowing, and is scanning. Each. Item. Individually. To me, those lanes are for small orders and the Scan-It orders. The fast orders.

3. The traffic light at the intersection of Dukes Parkway and Roycebrook Road - this signal is evil. I swear, every time I approach it, it changes to red (even when there is no cross traffic.) Then, just as I slow to a crawl, it turns green. It stays red long enough to slow me down and then BAM! Light changes. I swear it's mocking me. I don't know why, but that light's got it in for me.

4. People who comment on their own Facebook status - Not the ones who respond to the comments left by others. That's only polite. I mean the people who update their status, and are the only ones commenting on it. Do they realize they are, in essence, talking to themselves? And for the most part, it really isn't necessary to reiterate what you've just said. I get it. You hate Obama and you really want people to know it. Then you want them to know it again. And again. And again. Trust me, we get it. We just. Don't. Care. There isn't a single person on your friends' list who doesn't get it. Oh, and we all pretty much think you're nuts. It's very passive-aggressive, I realize, but I'm not about to start up a fight on Facebook over something as stupid as politics. I'll just gripe about it over here and on Twitter.

5. Spam - I don't know if it would annoy me quite as much if the stupid spammers at least got my gender right. WTF am I going to do with Viagra, Cialis, or any other penis-related drugs? I don't have a penis, you idiots. Spam me with offers for stuff like Jimmy Choos and I might (just maybe) bite. Trust me, I will never take you up on your ED meds offers. Oh, and I don't care how many lotteries I've won, I'm not sending you my bank account information.

And last, but not least

6. Blogger - Since when does Ctrl+I not italicize? I have to click on the little i up top, and then click on it 50 more times to unitalicize. WTF is that about? Grrr...

Okay. End of rant. As you were. :D

No comments: