Why is it...?

My WIP is driving me nuts. I have a self-imposed deadline of June 1st (the finished book has to be turned in to my editor by July 15th) and I think the story derailed, so I'm taking a few days to mull it over. And since I don't feel like kvetching about it, I'll kvetch about something else - like coupons that are for everything in the world except for that one item you really want.

That when I have a really good coupon (like, of, 20% off), the item I covet is listed in the fine print as excluded?

WTF is that? Drives me nuts.

I mean, I know why they do it - (and you know which store I'm talking about, don't you? They sell stuff for the Bedroom, the Bathroom, and beyond that...Oh, and if you need something Stapled - they do it, too) but I don't think it's really right. Instead of listing that endless paragraph of exclusions, they'd be better off saying something like: This coupon only good for a 10,000 count package of store brand used Q-Tips. (ew.) Because really, that's pretty much all it covers.(Or, if you're in need of Stapling, the fine print should read Good only for 10,000 ct box of broken rubber bands.)

I need a new toner for my printer. It's an HP laserjet. The toners are crazy expensive (and I'm relatively cheap, so you can imagine how many times I take that stupid cartridge out and shake the bejeezus out of it to eke out a just a few more pages' worth of toner,) Now, granted, I only replace it maybe twice a year, but still... So when I get a coupon for a specific office supply place, I'm happy when I find those coupons in the newspaper, or if they come in my email (gotta love those store cards. I've yet to be able to use any of the coupons they've emailed me. I'm pretty well set for neon pink pens, really.) My toner is ALWAYS excluded. HP toners are apparently as rare and special as deep-blue Tanzanite. And they must NEVER be discounted. Ever. The store, or maybe HP, would shrivel up and die if that happened, apparently.

We also need to think about replacing our vacuum. I've been coveting a Dyson since forever. But remember, I am cheap (and not rich, either, I might add) so $500 for a vacuum is going to leave a mark. And if you look in that coupon fine print, guess which ones are excluded? Of course. So guess who's probably not getting a Dyson. And guess who haz a sad over it. :(