Ugh. This was supposed to be easy - rewrite one scene. One scene. How hard could it be?
Pfft. Unfortunately, rewriting that one scene means I can't use the following scene and I need the following scene. It's not just that I like it or I hate to cut it, but I actually need it.
See, here's the thing - in the original draft, the first love scene between Hugh and Miranda happens in an abandoned gamekeeper cabin. When I reread it, I didn't think it was all that romantic and not entirely realistic. An abandoned cabin in a snowstorm. Meh.
So, I rewrote it, so now it happens in a conservatory - a little warmer, a little more comfy, a little more believable. It's supposed to be a passionate and "I have to have you NOW!" scene and that worked okay, I thought.
(don't you just hate when there's a but?)
Now, the following scene doesn't work and I'm not sure how to get it to work, since Hugh and Miranda's emotions have changed from the original draft.
Again, in the original draft, they are lying by this meager little fire and Hugh opens up to Miranda about the horrors in his past. It shows his vulnerability and how he trusts her, since it's something he hasn't really shared with anyone.
Well, in the new draft, I can't work this in. Partly because it went from the floor of a cabin, to a wrought iron bench in a conservatory. There's nowhere for them to laze about, enjoy the afterglow and do some soul-baring.
I need this scene to move the story forward. Otherwise, it's just kind of a frivolous, surrender to the moment love scene that really isn't needed.
So, I'm going to put the call out - which scene do you think would work better? Is the cabin in the woods thing believable? Corny? Just plain sucky?
Meanwhile, I'm going to bang my head against the wall until I figure out a way to work the soul-baring into the new scene...